-I’ve taken the most basic of things for granted, like the ability to just ‘pop out’.
-I really miss people, I miss just being able to grab a coffee, have a chat and actually HUG friends.
-I’ve not made enough of an effort to see people pre pandemic (who I’m missing terribly right now).
-I’m actually pretty comfortable with my own company, but need to be careful not to completely retreat into myself.
-Home is my safe, happy place.
-I really want to see more of the world, Japan is so super high up on that list.
-Mental health isn’t a linear binary, there’s highs and lows and that’s ok. Being kind to yourself is easier at times than others.
-I’m incredibly hard on myself.
-Check in on friends/loved ones, they might be missing you as much as you miss them.
-I didn’t realise that a number of people felt so strongly that people with chronic illness/disabilities should ‘just stay at home’ so that they could get on with their own lives.
-Selfish people will always be selfish, even in the event of a global pandemic.
I’ve been pretty absent recently from blogging because at present I’m just not ‘feeling it’. I don’t have anything useful, fun or interesting to share, I’m just existing. I did however want to share a gentle reminder (to myself and anyone else that needs to hear it) THESE FEELINGS WILL PASS! . I wanted to make a post on World Mental Health Day to uplift others but it felt like an imposter move when I’m struggling to lift myself up. But I realised that how we experience mental health isn’t a linear process, it’s not plain sailing with gradual highs and lows. Its ever changing, its determined by exterior factors as well as internal beliefs. Its not neat and tidy, its messy, its disorganised and at times conflicted. Raising awareness of mental health issues isn’t about forcing happiness, positivity or false positivity. Its about being open, with ourselves and others. Its about removing the stigma attached to discussion surrounding mental health matters. Its about creating a safe place to work through struggles, to process past events and deal with the day to day. So all I can think to concisely sum up is ‘these feelings will pass’. . I’m finding myself increasingly overwhelmed lately, I know that I’m retreating into myself again and I’m trying to claw my way out of the hole, but I’ll move forward from this again, just like I have before. This is simply a blip. It’s not a defining feature of me, it’s not a failure as a mum, partner, daughter, friend or any other facet of my whole person. It doesn’t mean I’m failing or a failure. It’s a blip, that’s all. . (pic from today’s school run woodland walk ft. Cute ghost because it’s spooktober).
“Those who do not move, do not notice their chains.” Rosa Luxemberg
There are people who aren’t ready for change: either in their own lives or to witness it in other’s lives. Change marks the end of a chapter as well as a new beginning. Change forces others to consider their own actions, past regrets or lifestyle. Change can make people feel unaccomplished, trapped, angry or put out by the changes you make; and in this case, change can be uncomfortable, painful and at times maybe even lonely.
Not everyone will support your growth, not everyone will be behind your life changes… Not everyone has to be.
Those who are truly there for you will be supportive of change and the fact that you feel prepared to make changes means that you had that spark of hope or desire to do or be more.
Keep evolving. Keep moving forward…
Edgy teen tumblr aesthetic because I’m a little grump today
I admit it : I get caught up on numbers at times. Likes, followers and FOMO have, on occasion driven my social media use. I’ve questioned whether I am talented enough, interesting enough, creative enough. I’ve compared my body to others, felt fear of missing out, wondered what value I have to the wider society. Am I enough in general? . The truth is, you are not your likes, followers or ‘numbers’. Constant comparison to other’s carefully curated selection of images or tweets can cause or exacerbate body dysmorphia, ED and mental health conditions. . We’re seeing posed, edited, modified images at times. Other times we see only part of the bigger picture because, of course, we want to express ourselves in the most positive way possible, who wouldn’t want others to see them in the best light? . Likes and followers are validating; it feels good, don’t get me wrong. The issue arises when social media leaves you questioning your own validity. . ‘why am I not getting likes’, ‘my art isn’t as good as that person’s’, ‘I’ll never look like that’, ‘my life looks boring in comparison’. . It’s a negative cycle of consuming more social media content, fueling the negative self talk and damaging your self esteem. . What would you post if there were no like buttons? If people just saw your posts but there was no option to ‘follow’ you. Would you post what you loved? The magical family day out you all enjoyed? The piece of art you lovingly created? The meal you carefully prepared? The selfie where you were feeling your oats? . During this time social media is essential for maintaining and establishing social connections but it’ll never replace human to human contact. . If your social media use is impacting on your health it may be time to take a hiatus. Be kind to yourself and give yourself distance from the curated environment that is social media. Be present in your daily life without FOMO. Your life, art, skills are all valid. YOU are valid. You are not your numbers.
Did you know July is Disability pride month? I didn’t either. But finding this out made me think about my own journey and experience of living with disability and chronic illness.
I’ve openly struggled with coming to terms with my disability, my mental health took a nose dive when I developed cauda equina syndrome (and other comorbid chronic illnesses). If I said I was over this now I’d be lying, but I’ve made huge leaps towards accepting and even embracing my circumstances. I no longer feel the need to try and hide invisible aspects of my disability, I no longer hide my stick in pictures (instead I diy’d a cute one), I don’t actively focus on what I can’t do anymore; instead I try to focus on the huge amount of things I can still do. I focus on my abilities and strengths to work towards achieving my goals. I’d even go as far to say that this embracing of my circumstances has made aspects of my life more fulfilling. I have opened up my small business, I have set out to learn Japanese, I’ve gone back to university: I have a purpose to each day, purposes that my disability does not stand in the way of (often, but particularly bad days do put the brakes on plans frequently).
Being so focused on my disability made me question my self worth, my value to others and my ability to contribute to other’s lives. It was exhausting constantly talking down to myself, convincing myself that life as I knew it was over. I was worthless.
Now I’m done with hiding and shaming myself. I’m done apologising for something out of my hands. I’m here, it’s more than OK for me to hold space, I have a voice and I’m most definitely going to use it. I’m happy to answer any questions, I’m ready to call out ignorance.
The National Council on Independent Living raises important points on disability pride as a movement.
“Why do we need Disability Pride? Why is it important for people of all ages to feel pride? Many disabled people, including young people, are exposed on a regular basis to ableism. Ableism is present throughout society, and can take the form of condescending, rude, or abusive attitudes towards people with disabilities, leading to lack of accessible and inclusive services and communities.
A very common form of ableism is inspiration porn; Stella Young defines inspiration porn as “…to objectify one group of people for the benefit of another group of people.” Inspiration porn is meant to “inspire you, to motivate you and make you think, ‘well, however bad my life is, it could always be worse. I could be THAT person’.” Disability pride is a tool to fight against ableism by affirming one’s self-worth as a disabled person in an ableist society”.NCIL
I’m proud of the person I’ve become, I’m proud of attacking each day regardless of what it throws at me. Disability was the catalyst for change in my life, that has shaped and is shaping who I am, and am becoming. My disabled identity is just part of me, it’s not my defining characteristic.
I’ve held off posting product reviews for a while, mainly because I haven’t been truly bowled over by any of my recent buys (and partly because lockdown has me feeling uninspired) BUT I needed to share my review of these products. You may remember me posting a while back about my negative dermaplaning experience and the effect it had on my skin; well that effect was long lasting, I was having breakouts for months afterwards, my skin tone appeared more uneven and my pores even looked larger when they weren’t noticeable beforehand. I’d been reading really positive reviews of the @somebymi 30 day miracle products so naturally wanted to try them out. I added the toner and serum to my routine and in 3 weeks I’m noticing huge changes already. I’m starting to get the ‘glassy’ skin glow back, my pores seem to be less noticeable and breakouts are disappearing without leaving blemished skin. I am SHOCKED. These could well be HG products, my hyper sensitive skin is happy and so am I! I managed to pick up both products from @skinsider_uk, with super quick delivery and great service (as a first time shopper I was impressed to find products I normally purchase from S. Korea at a great price without having to wait weeks for delivery). TLDR: somebymi appears to have rescued my angry skin and skinsider was a great online shop for Kbeauty goodies ❤️
Quarantine day…. I honestly don’t even know anymore. I’m not going to lie, today has been a slog and the days are just blurring into each other and are equally trying. I thought that when uni work was out of the way I’d feel more relaxed and have more productive days. I thought I’d be super productive at home, maybe even turn into a “hincher ” (fun fact: I haven’t). I thought I’d stick to a semi regular blog posting schedule and add a heap of new items to my store and step up my shop game. I thought I’d become an Instagram worthy home schooler with Pinterest activities coming out of my ears and a child eager to learn. The truth is I’ve been busy in one sense of the word everyday and don’t feel that I’ve achieved much at all. There’s still a heap of stuff I need to do. Homeschooling has been sporadic, Pinterest homeschooling activities have been put to one side and parenting has been hard work despite all the joy kiddos bring. Diys have been halted due to running out of paint (and steam). I spend most of the day just wishing things could be normal but the thought of rushing back to the new normal terrifies me. I know this sounds trivial and don’t get me wrong I realise people are in far worse scenarios than I am. This isn’t to minimise their difficulties in any way, shape or form. The quarantine has blown minor things into more major ones and played havoc with things going on in my head. I’ve been experiencing intrusive thoughts, heightened anxiety and have become hyper critical of myself. I’m longing for some semblance of normality or the ‘new normal’ to be more clear cut. So this post has no real point other than to say, we’re all only human, we’re all living in difficult times one way or another . It’s ok to feel iffy, this is a super scary time. If you need to talk, I’m here, reach out.
I am feeling beyond disconnected. With friends, family, the local community and myself. I feel lost.
I’m struggling today. Even ACNH isn’t helping and normally it’s a great distraction . Nothing really feels real or right and my anxiety is sitting pretty high on average. The thought of coming out of quarantine is terrifying, the fear of what happens when we try to move forward is unreal. I’m afraid of what happens next. It’s hard to see what the future holds, or at least frame it in a slightly positive light
I’m angry that we’re being failed by our government, I’m angry that healthcare workers aren’t being adequately protected, I’m angry that key members of government have felt that they could take actions that many others haven’t despite difficult circumstances. My heart breaks thinking of the families who are apart and hurting, those at the end of their lives who have to be alone, those who can’t say goodbye to loved ones
Today isn’t a good day and I can only hope tomorrow is better, the problems won’t have magically been resolved over night but maybe I’ll be better equipped to deal with them tomorrow. Right now I’m going to throw myself in to enjoying the weather with my son. I’m so grateful I can be at home with him and stay safe. I truly hope our key workers can do the same, I am so so grateful for the sacrifices you are all making. Thank you.
If you had told me where we’d be as a society (on a worldwide scale) at the end of last year I’d have responded with an overtly positive but extremely naive ‘no we’ll be fine’, But look where we are now. We can’t go out, we can’t see loved ones and friends, we can’t live as we once did. Life is very different and looks to be that way for the forseeable future. We needed a distraction and wholesome shining beacon of light in the darkness that is the global pandemic. That distraction came courtesy of Nintendo in the form of Animal Crossing New Horizons.
The shining beacon of joy in an otherwise dark time
My love affair with Animal Crossing started with New Leaf, but makes me wish it had started sooner. Usually games I play involve strategy, fighting, zombies and all things that get the adrenaline pumping but being in lockdown meant that I didn’t want to play games with dark content or violence. The world felt like a scary enough place, I just lost all desire to play my usual games. Luckily the day before my birthday Animal Crossing was released and it was the game I knew, loved and NEEDED to get me through quarantine.
My switch is more dressed up than me thanks to quarantine
The ability to play with others even whilst social distancing, the leisurely pace of play and new customisation features allow players to become fully immersed in the deserted Island experience like never before. And I have become not only fully immersed but fully obsessed. I’ve played with others around the world, traded goods, created an island paradise from scratch, took a risk on the stalk market and fallen in love with villagers (some notably more than others, hi Aurora).
Aurora is so precious
I didn’t realise how much this game would become a distraction from the world’s events and from being quarantined for an extended period of time (thanks chronic conditions), but it has become the beacon of light I and so many others needed. The community of players I’ve met so far have been friendly, helpful and genuinely lovely people. There’s a variety of active discords, Facebook groups and even WhatsApp groups to join to trade craft and even just water each others flowers. Another notable outside group is Nookazon for those hard to find goods, but occasionally the prices can be a little on the high side so perhaps cataloging parties will be a better option for trading goods and getting them added to the Nook shopping app.
I could rave about my love for Animal Crossing for hours, but the best way to understand the calming ability of such a seemingly simple game is to get involved. Who knew a game could help manage the overwhelming anxiety that a global pandemic brings? I certainly didn’t expect it to have such a profound effect but I’m beyond grateful it has. It’s the escapism I, and many others needed right now.
Truly, thanks Nintendo for this wholesome addition to the Animal Crossing franchise but pleeeeeaaaasssseeee Nintendo, please add some more worktops and surfaces!!!
The Sakura garden centre before it’s big makeover
If anyone is interested in visiting my island then please add me on the switch. I adore visiting other’s islands and I’m always looking for buddies to trade, fish and water with.
Add me for island adventures
Until next time, stay safe, stay at home (if you can) and stay well.
I’m a sucker for skincare, that might have become apparent by now; Despite my overenthusiasm for all things skin I’m pretty unlikely to buy into ‘faddy’ trends (okay okay, I DID fall into the dermaplaning trap but that’s old news) . Instead I look for products and routines that are safe, straight forward, sustainable in the long term and provide clear results. I’d spent a fair while researching dermarolling and was surprised to find out that this was something so many people did in the comfort of their own homes.
FULL DISCLAIMER, whilst I am a trained beauty therapist I am not certified to carry out dermarolling on paying clients. Any information contained in this blog is detailing my own experience with dermarolling my own skin. Not all methods I use will be suitable for all skin types and concerns and may differ from certified professionals methods
One of the first things to note is that not every needle is suitable for every skin concern. The simplest way to show the best needle size for various skin concerns (and the recommended time between treatments) is through a table… Stay with me, this isn’t turning into math class…
Skin concerns, needle size and frequency of use
The needle length describes the depth of the needle into the skin’s surface, it’s recommended for first time users to start with the smaller sized rollers to get used to the technique as well as the sensation. As my focus was on product penetration and evening out my skin tone I chose a 0.25mm needle size roller purchased from Ebay which was both affordable (at £4.12) and from a well rated seller . I haven’t sized up the needle I’m using as at present this sized roller is working well for it’s intended use.
Dermaroller I purchased and indications of depth of needle.
For the next step in preparation you will need isopropyl alcohol to sanitise the roller prior to use; before using the roller it is important to ensure it is throughly cleaned. I did so initially with antibacterial soap and water. I then allowed the roller to sit in the alcohol solution for 30 minutes prior to use.
Whilst waiting for the roller to sanitise and be ready for use I prepare my skin; As I follow a 10 step routine this part may differ slightly for you, but I start by double cleansing my face, toning and applying my treatments followed by serum. If you follow a different skin care routine ensure that you cleanse as normal but ensure you put a serum on prior to rolling, it will reduce any potential dragging from the roller. It’s at this point you can get to rolling.
The roller should be used in small sections vertically , horizontally and diagonally (around four rolling movements in each direction before moving on). Before using the roller gently pull the skin area taught with your non dominant hand and begin rolling as described above. It is important you use firm pressure but not excessively so, especially true around the eye and cheekbone areas.
Post treatment, apply serum over your whole face again and leave to absorb for a period of 20 minutes. Your skin will likely be red after this point so it is useful to have a sheet mask handy to put on and ease any redness or irritation. After removing the sheet mask I finish up my skincare routine as normal. It’s best to go through the dermarolling process at night to allow any redness to subside, I also avoid make up for the following day to allow my skin to completely settle. Skin should be kept out of sunlight and protected with a minimum SPF 30 for 7 days post treatment.
ALWAYS THROUGHLY WASH AND SANITISE THE ROLLER POST USE IN THE SAME WAY AS BEFORE THE TREATMENT.
I only tend to dermaroll every other week as I found that’s the right period of time between treatments to achieve my desired results, however different rollers and skin concerns will vary between person to person so always check the dermaroller manufacturer’s s guidance.
Since beginning to use the dermaroller I have noticed a tightening of my skin in general, as well as reduced pore size and more even skin tone. It’s a fairly lengthy and at times uncomfortable process but the results have been worth it to achieve the skin I desired.
Have you tried dermarolling before? What would your top tips be? Do you use a numbing cream prior to dermarolling?
Konnichiwa Kitty 