Month: July 2020

You are not your numbers, social media isn’t ‘real’

On By konnichiwakitty-Hannah IRLIn Chronic illness, lifestyle, TravelLeave a comment

I admit it : I get caught up on numbers at times. Likes, followers and FOMO have, on occasion driven my social media use. I’ve questioned whether I am talented enough, interesting enough, creative enough. I’ve compared my body to others, felt fear of missing out, wondered what value I have to the wider society. Am I enough in general?
.
The truth is, you are not your likes, followers or ‘numbers’. Constant comparison to other’s carefully curated selection of images or tweets can cause or exacerbate body dysmorphia, ED and mental health conditions.
.
We’re seeing posed, edited, modified images at times. Other times we see only part of the bigger picture because, of course, we want to express ourselves in the most positive way possible, who wouldn’t want others to see them in the best light?
.
Likes and followers are validating; it feels good, don’t get me wrong. The issue arises when social media leaves you questioning your own validity.
.
‘why am I not getting likes’,
‘my art isn’t as good as that person’s’,
‘I’ll never look like that’,
‘my life looks boring in comparison’.
.
It’s a negative cycle of consuming more social media content, fueling the negative self talk and damaging your self esteem.
.
What would you post if there were no like buttons? If people just saw your posts but there was no option to ‘follow’ you. Would you post what you loved? The magical family day out you all enjoyed? The piece of art you lovingly created? The meal you carefully prepared? The selfie where you were feeling your oats?
.
During this time social media is essential for maintaining and establishing social connections but it’ll never replace human to human contact.
.
If your social media use is impacting on your health it may be time to take a hiatus. Be kind to yourself and give yourself distance from the curated environment that is social media. Be present in your daily life without FOMO. Your life, art, skills are all valid. YOU are valid. You are not your numbers.

July is Disability pride month

On By konnichiwakitty-Hannah IRLIn Chronic illness, lifestyle, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Did you know July is Disability pride month?
I didn’t either. But finding this out made me think about my own journey and experience of living with disability and chronic illness.

I’ve openly struggled with coming to terms with my disability, my mental health took a nose dive when I developed cauda equina syndrome (and other comorbid chronic illnesses). If I said I was over this now I’d be lying, but I’ve made huge leaps towards accepting and even embracing my circumstances. I no longer feel the need to try and hide invisible aspects of my disability, I no longer hide my stick in pictures (instead I diy’d a cute one), I don’t actively focus on what I can’t do anymore; instead I try to focus on the huge amount of things I can still do. I focus on my abilities and strengths to work towards achieving my goals. I’d even go as far to say that this embracing of my circumstances has made aspects of my life more fulfilling. I have opened up my small business, I have set out to learn Japanese, I’ve gone back to university: I have a purpose to each day, purposes that my disability does not stand in the way of (often, but particularly bad days do put the brakes on plans frequently).

Being so focused on my disability made me question my self worth, my value to others and my ability to contribute to other’s lives. It was exhausting constantly talking down to myself, convincing myself that life as I knew it was over. I was worthless.

Now I’m done with hiding and shaming myself. I’m done apologising for something out of my hands. I’m here, it’s more than OK for me to hold space, I have a voice and I’m most definitely going to use it. I’m happy to answer any questions, I’m ready to call out ignorance.

The National Council on Independent Living raises important points on disability pride as a movement.

“Why do we need Disability Pride?
Why is it important for people of all ages to feel pride? Many disabled people, including young people, are exposed on a regular basis to ableism. Ableism is present throughout society, and can take the form of condescending, rude, or abusive attitudes towards people with disabilities, leading to lack of accessible and inclusive services and communities.

A very common form of ableism is inspiration porn; Stella Young defines inspiration porn as “…to objectify one group of people for the benefit of another group of people.” Inspiration porn is meant to “inspire you, to motivate you and make you think, ‘well, however bad my life is, it could always be worse. I could be THAT person’.” Disability pride is a tool to fight against ableism by affirming one’s self-worth as a disabled person in an ableist society”.NCIL

I’m proud of the person I’ve become, I’m proud of attacking each day regardless of what it throws at me. Disability was the catalyst for change in my life, that has shaped and is shaping who I am, and am becoming. My disabled identity is just part of me, it’s not my defining characteristic.